“Those who look to Him are radiant with joy, their faces shall never be ashamed.” - Psalm 34:5
My Shame Back Story:
According to Brene Brown, famed shame researcher-storyteller, those who have the most shame don’t realize it and probably would say they have none. Yikes! This was me! Could it be you, too?
I clearly remember the day I learned of Christine Caine’s latest book “Unashamed” coming out many years ago. I remember having the thought, “ I sure have a lot of issues, but shame isn’t one of them”. Oh boy was I wrong!! My life was riddled with it!
But God! As I began to see my need for healing in this area and recognizing how I had walked with my chin down in a state of self-rejection for oh so many years, I cried out to the Lord for help. I particularly had rejected myself in the way of clothing and anything related to being a woman. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the color pink and refused to dress my first-born daughter in the color either.
Pink represented pain to me. Pain from other women.
Pink represented pain to me. Pain from other women. No thanks! I wanted nothing to do with either pink or most women except a very select few friends I knew I could trust.
As I cried out to the Lord, I specifically asked Him to show me how I could begin caring for and dressing myself in a way that felt attractive. Given an “ousting situation” in childhood where overnight I lost all if my closest friends over a rumor I never said, and not having sisters, I failed to engage in a lot of the typical girl things like braiding one another’s hair or experimenting with makeup with friends. I felt disqualified from all of it in fact.
Even in what some may consider a somewhat silly prayer, the Lord heard my heart’s cry and my desire. It wasn’t an insignificant thing after all. I was raising three daughters and I wanted nothing more than to end this pattern in these three precious girls. I knew if I didn’t get healing, that’s just what would happen. The generational pattern of self-rejection, shame, and unworthiness would continue just as it had in my mother and in her lineage before her even though the life circumstances may have been different.
The answer to this prayer came in the form of discovering local resale shops and asking for help from the women there. They were kind and took me under their wing, helping me to begin to feel pretty, to learn to accept myself, and to know how to put an outfit together that I felt comfortable and confident in.
In time the Lord showed me all the harsh thoughts I held toward myself which were deeply rooted in shame and condemnation, and I began replacing them with thoughts that better matched what my Heavenly Father thought of me. I was accepted, forgiven, chosen, redeemed, beloved, and so much more!
He healed my relationships with other women as well allowing me to enjoy the color pink, to be able to celebrate other women and their unique designs, and develop beautiful, rich relationships with many incredible female friends. I am so very thankful for His redemption!
I think back to how significantly others’ opinions (or at least my projected views that others had of me) held me captive for so many years. It is quite tragic that I agreed with the enemy and my own negative view of myself for so long. I believe these negative patterns even contributed to the autoimmune thyroid condition that has caused such havoc in my body over the past 17 years.
The good news is He has me on a new trajectory. He has healed me of those self-rejection patterns and the constant thoughts of unworthiness and shame. It’s not that I don’t still battle those things, but they are not a stronghold any longer and I know who to run to when those thoughts come knocking! (And they still try to come in!)
When I reflect over all the years of healing, I am convinced that it was every Taste and See experience of God’s tangible love in my life that has brought me to where I am today. His perfect love truly does cast out fear as 1 John 4:18 says:
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
Ultimately, self-rejection, shame, and unworthiness come from a place of fear, not love. When we can come better receivers of this perfect, unending, unfailing love, then we can truly begin to heal and move out of fear and into the sweet embrace of our Father’s love.
So now for you…is there shame you are seeing in your life, maybe for the first time? If so, my story of healing could be your story, too my friend, no matter how much shame and condemnation you have faced over your lifetime. Things could change TODAY. Are you ready?
Keep reading...below I have 5 practical steps to take to Stomp out Shame!!
Ready to stomp out your shame? Here are 5 practical steps to do so! ⚔️
Recognizing the voice of shame and condemnation for what it is and not taking that bait any longer is the first step toward freedom!
Renounce the lie that you came into agreement with. It's not from God and instead from the enemy of your soul!
When we agree with the voice of shame, we agree with the enemy and with fear ultimately. We can repent and turn toward our heart’s back to the Father instead of the lies from the pit.
What is the TRUTH in this situation that needs to replace that lie? Search the Scriptures for truths to hang on to and speak them out loud when that lie comes for you!
Thank God that He cares enough about our inner thought life and world to teach us how to renew our minds to what brings LIFE instead of death. Rejoice in your FREEDOM in Christ as you renew your mind and walk in TRUTH!
Nicole Roth's mission is to help women exchange feeling weary, worn out, and wandering for being rooted, rested, and radiant with joy!
Women learn to receive their TRUE REST and Renew - Restore - Replenish - Refresh ~ Re-Energize in Jesus and in nature.
The means Nicole uses are her 30 day video JOY devotional, books, courses, Sequoia Strong movement, Sequoia Sanctuary membership community, retreats, and her podcast, One JoyFULL Life.
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